Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Wednesday Wanderings

It's a wonderful wandering type of Wednesday. 

A day to wander ...
through the Word

through some books

through some pictures

through some thoughts

Here are today's wandering thoughts ...
- I've been wondering the last two days about why, when I read aloud to my children and 10 in the morning, am I fighting nodding off in the middle of the story? I suppose I should probably go to bed before midnight if I insist on setting my alarm for 5:48am. Yes, that's the actual time it's set for.

- How do I go forth trying to organize and de-clutter when I feel like we just did that and yet we still have shelves overflowing with things and boxes and bins already full to the brim. And with so very little actual storage space to store necessary items?
I would very much like to throw everything outside and really see what we need and don't need.

- I have consistently had my carpets vacuumed once or twice daily for the last 3 weeks and I'm digging it.
A lot.

- I'd really be pleased if I could dress the way I imagine a 26 year old should dress.

- I very much miss my daily walks and the prayer time that they created.

- There's this amazing giveaway going on at Soulographer that you should definitely check out. Especially if you are a photographer and if you ever have a desire to photograph children - she (Skye Hardwick-Edmonds of Work of Heart Photography) has a beyond amazing workbook that she is giving away 3 copies of this week!

- I have this strong desire to paint my toes in bright orange and fuscia but then I look at the price of nail polish and say, "Forget it!"

- I'm struggling with mothering and it feels never ending. I feel like I can't get a handle on my own issues - impatience, inconsistency, and reactive parenting.
I don't want encouraging words or those, "this too shall pass" words of comfort.
I want a kick in the butt.
The kind of kick that comes from someone looking into the daily life you're living and being able to tell you what exactly you need to do and to be there to say, "Is that the right choice right now?"

- And lastly, to embody how I feel lately,
"I can't stop drinking the coffee. If I stop drinking the coffee I stop doing the standing and the walking and the words putting into sentence doing."

Happy Wednesday.
I hope you let yourself wander just a bit today.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Wyatt Saga continues ... part 100?

Satan uses every opportunity he can. 
He's like the CEO shark of the underworld. 

He takes the little moments when we weren't watching all of our children and they creatively found something to occupy their time to pick at the wedges in our hearts and the rifts of insecurities in our mothering skills that are in our souls. 

Satan was at work in this house today,
and at work in my heart. 

While I had a productive conversation with my eldest my third child decided to creatively occupy his time with blue shampoo. 
An entire bottle of blue shampoo. 
All over the carpet. 

That's the blue shampoo. Can you see it? 

And that ^ is what happens when you try to clean it up. 

Days like toady make me question a lot of things. 
Things like:
 What is God's purpose for me in raising Super Wy?

Why do we continually go back to the same struggles?

How is it that I can be having a very fruitful conversation with one child while another is down the hall reeking all sorts of havoc? 

How is it that I can "know" the right way to do things and yet I act and react in all the wrong ways?

Where is God's joy and patience and calm when these incidents happen?

How does God continually give grace ... over and over and over ... ?
I can't even seem to muster it enough for my children. 

And this is why we are cautioned against the rulers and authorities of this world and warned that Satan is like a roaring lion, preying on us when he can. 

What a great schemer he is, using our weaknesses and our weakest moments to drive wedges between us and our Creator. 
The Creator who watches our every movement and thinks,
"I'm here, precious child. Right here. In the middle of this mess." 

Today He gently ... oh, who am I kidding? ... 
He smacked me over the head with a 2x4 and reminded me that: 

I need Him 
His life-breath, His joy, His patience, His strength, and His forgiveness
I need to be clothed in Him

He loves
He loves me. Oh, how He loves me. The depth, width, and breadth of His love are beyond all my human understanding so all I need to do is remember that I'm wrapped in it. I'm drowning in it. 

I have amazing friends. 
Friends that breathe grace into my life, reminding how God loves and forgives and wraps me in His arms 
Arms full of grace

Shampoo is really hard to get out of carpet
Seems like it should be really easy, right? It's not. 

I don't much enjoy days like today when it takes a smack in the face to be reminded of how desperately I need my Savior. It often leaves my face tear-streaked and my heart feeling a bit broken. 
But what a great relief it is to know that He picks up the pieces and bit by bit glues me back together.