Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Character Counts: Respect

Last week and this week we have been reviewing respect during our Bible Time. Now, I've been lax in having Bible Time, so it hasn't been everyday like I want it to be but, we're working on it!
Emma has been struggling with respect lately - respect for God, respect for daddy, and respect for things so I thought it was time we went back and reviewed. These are all things I learned from other mothers, one in particular.

Honoring others with my action, my words, and good manners.

"Show proper respect to everyone." - 1 Peter 2:17

During our Bible Times I say, "What is respect?" Emma answers, "Honoring others with my actions, my words, and good manners." I do hand actions to help her remember - "my actions" is I hold out my hands and shake them, "my words" I point to my mouth, and "good manners" I take my hands and fold them in my lap.
Then I say the first word of the verse, "show" and Emma says the rest of the verse. Even George can now say this whole verse! (Yes, it's possible at 2 1/2!)

Then we talk about who we respect and how.
We respect God. We respect Him by: being quiet when others are praying, obeying and honoring His word - the Bible, and honoring others the way He tells us to - loving them and also obeying those He has placed in authority over us. For the kids, obviously that means mom and dad and any other caretakers.

We respect dad and mom. We respect them by: answering them correctly and cheerfully. When daddy says, "Emma." Emma says, "Yes daddy."
When mommy says, "Emma come." Emma says, "Coming mommy."
When daddy says, "No." You say, "Ok daddy" cheerfully.
When mommy says, "Please _______," You say, "Yes ma'am."
We also respect daddy and mommy by looking them in the eyes and listening completely.
We respect dad and mom by obeying them - quickly, completely, and cheerfully.

We respect our brothers/sisters. We respect them by: loving them and treating them the way the Lord wants us to. Kindly, with love, thinking of them before ourselves.
We respect those who are not our siblings the exact same way.

We respect our property. We respect this by: treating our things with care and concern. We also take care of others' things the same way with care and concern. If we borrow something we return in it the same, if not better, care that it was in when we received it. We care for our things to make them last as long as possible.

What Does the Bible Say About Respect?
"Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the LORD.
Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart.
They do nothing wrong; they walk in his ways.
You have laid down precepts that are to be fully obeyed.
Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees!
Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands.
I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws.
I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me."
-Psalm 119:1-8

*Vs. 6 literally, "respect unto all Thy commandments". In other words, respect for God's commands is number one - we must honor God by our actions, by taking His commands seriously.

Respect is interchangeable with honor in the Bible; here are some verses on who to respect:

Everyone: "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." -Romans 12:10
Parents: "'Honor your father and mother'- which is the first commandment with a promise- 'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth.'" -Ephesians 6:2-3
Husband: "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." -Ephesians 5:33
Employer: "All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God's name and our teaching may not be slandered." -I Timothy 6:1
Everyone; King/Leader: "Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the King." -I Peter 2:17
Elders: "Rise in the presence of the aged, sho respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord." -Leviticus 19:32

Thoughts On Respect:
Respect is God's way, yet respect is almost unheard of these days as everyone looks out for their own self interest. In previous generations respect was normal and expected, but not any more. Now we have to purpose to teach our children to be respectful and have to undo what they learn from their peers and others. God commands children to honor (respect) their parents, so out of obedience to God we must demand it from them.
Pray: That we will live and speak respectfully before our children and they will be respectful.

If you are married, one of the best ways that you can teach your child about God honoring respect is to honor your husband.
This morning, for me, was a great example of how not to do that! Mike snapped at Emma and I quickly chastised him in front of her for snapping and told him to walk away and take a break. That does not teach my children how to respect the authority above them.
If I teach my children that the husband is the head of the wife and Christ is the head of the husband - which I do - then my actions this morning were contrary to that teaching!

How Do We Create Respect in Our Children?
1) Use people's names - on the way to an event/function practice the names of the people you will be seeing there, or at least the key people. Example: Sunday School teacher.

2) Shake a person's hand - firmly - when meeting them and repeat their name back to them. Practice hand shakes and repeating names at home.

3) Teach your children to not cause fear to the elderly by running or playing roughly too close to others. Examples: running at church - others get nervous when little ones are running, and may be holding drinks that could spill if they get hit. Running in parking lots - people will be fearful if they see a child jet out into the lot and we do not want to cause fear to others. Same with streets and stores.

4) Hold the door for people - especially boys. Teach boys that "gentlemen" always let girls go first.

5) Look at people's eyes when you talk to them. Practice this at home - in conversation and with staring games.

6) Stand to meet your company. Whenever someone comes to the house stop what you are doing and greet them kindly and enthusiastically.

7) Smile! Have your children make different facial expressions for different emotions - fear, anger, sadness, jealousy, happiness. Then ask - which one feels the best? Worst? Etc.

8) Use Mr. and Mrs.

9) Be a good winner and a good loser.

10) Do not brag. Let other people praise you, do not praise yourself. Proverbs 27:2

11) Teach them to thank all service members and anyone that does something for them.

12) Teach them table manners. Sharing a meal should be an enjoyable experience and children can enhance our hospitality.

13) Answer when spoken to. "Yes, mom." "Yes ma'am." "Yes sir." Etc. Acknowledge others when they speak to you.

Songs we sing for respect:
Super Manners, to the tune of "I'm a Little Teapot"
I have super manners
Yes I do
I can say "please" and "thank you" too
When I play with friends, I like to share.
That's the way I show I care.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to Thee,
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, that's what He wants from me!

Example Manners/Rules:
At Church:

Do not run
Look people in the eye
Talk loud enough to be heard
No baby talk
Have a firm handshake
Use people's names with Mr. and Mrs.
Obey your parents and teachers
Be a helper (go out of your way to help others)
Introduce yourself to children you do not know
Boys - hold the door for others

At Home Meals:
-Wash your hands and tidy your appearance before coming to the table.
-When praying, close your eyes and bow your head. Hold your hands still, without playing.
-After helping yourself to food, pass it on to your left.
-Take turns speaking. Talk about pleasant things, and do not interrupt others.
-Do not grumble or complain about the food.
-Chew your food quietly, with your mouth closed.
-Do not overload your mouth, or talk with your mouth full.
-Do not drink with food in your mouth. (Sounds funny, but is gross when you have a cup of water/liquid mixed with bits of food.)
-Stay at the table until everyone is finished and has been excused.

1 comment:

Harthad said...

I'm impressed and cheered by your post on respect. Not a bad reminder for us grown-up, either.
(your Aunt Elaine)