Five on Friday: Life With Super Wy

The Wyatt Saga: Part I
Oh, today. 

I failed you. 

Today was messy. Literally. 

Sigh

So, we're going to go through today with five images ... Wyatt style. 

1. I opened Wyatt's door this morning and was blasted with a very pungent smell. And then, then I saw his bare butt run across the room to his bed. 

His BARE butt. 

He decided this morning he wanted to finger paint. With poop. 

Poo on the blinds. Poo on the dollhouse. Poo on the carpet. Poooooo.

Bath #1.

And I found this on the floor:

2. Unfortunately I didn't get to cleaning the spots right away (oh darn), because children were hungry and thirsty and needed clean diapers and clothes that aren't PJ's.

Eventually I did get around to spraying the spot down with carpet cleaner because I got a fabulous new carpet cleaner for Christmas! Absentmindedly, I left the spray bottle of cleaner on the floor in Wy's room next to the actual carpet cleaner itself.

I went downstairs to attend to the other children and forgot about the cleaner.

We all ventured upstairs later and there was much carousing and playing and a wee bit later Emma came to me and asked, "Mom, why is Clara's hair all wet?" 

Hmmmm. 

Because her brother sprayed her head with carpet cleaner. And then proceeded to spray a bunch on his own head! No eyes were injured in the process but their hair had a nice fragrance to it. 

Bath #2. (#1 for Clara)

Before it was over the 2 oz line, now it's below the 1.5 line:

3. Take a break for nap time. Whew. (Where I sandwiched in an engagement session and dropping off a meal to a mama who just had a babe.)
Well afterward, I guess the boy was extremely thirsty because while I was upstairs getting Clara and attending to the laundry Wyatt decided to help himself to something to drink. 

Some red Kool-aid. 

Yes, RED. 

He retrieved it himself from the fridge and proceeded to take off the lid. 

I think it was about 1/2 full in the fridge. 

 He was left with some nice red hands, red feet, and red streaks down his chest.
And he left me a really nice pool on the kitchen floor - one that also splashed onto the stove and the cupboards and the fridge ... and under the fridge (which I could not move as hard as I tried).  

We cleaned up the kool-aid and made our way upstairs to throw the towels (2 full size bath towels) and his soaked clothes into the washing machine. 

While I did that he decided he was still thirsty. Of course that's because all the kool-aid ended up on the floor and not in his mouth! His aim was a little off. 

He found my Caribou cup on the bathroom counter, I found it on the floor. 

The red streaks were now mixed with brown ones. 

Bath #3. 

4. The crazy man who is on bath #3 of the day:

5. And because of the events of the day ... and evening ... it was bed time at 7:45 and I decided I was going to end my night with a drink. :) 

I do not condone drunkenness or excessive drinking (obviously) but every once in a while, it's goooooood to have a drink. 

And this, this is my FAV for liquor. Kilo Kai: Spiced Rum. 

What? You've never heard of Kilo Kai? 

Neither had I a few months ago. But it is a wonderful, fabulously tasty drink. Perfect with coke or Dr. Pepper! 

Go on, try it. 

You know you want to! 

Days like today remind me why it's good to laugh - even when I don't want to, even when I feel like crying. Just laugh. 

God wants me to laugh. 

He gave me Wyatt (I truly believe) to keep me on my toes, to keep me laughing, and to remind me that I need HIM. 

Every single day. 

So, I praise God for red streaked bellies, matted hair, washing machines, carpet cleaners, bath tubs, and rum. And for coffee tomorrow morning. 

That was my Friday. 

What was your Friday like?! 

The Shape of a Mother

I saw this today on Facebook by a group/blog I follow: 

http://starvingartistink.com/the-shape-of-a-mother/

Can I just say ... wow. 

Just wow. 

WOW. 

And then she talks about it here:

http://starvingartistink.com/living-in-the-glow-of-love/

She says:

"i sent those pictures to a friend first- she asked 'how do these pictures make you feel?'

proud.

oh so proud. i love that body that's cradling that sweet babe. i love that body so much- because i remember a similar picture i took of myself- but i could only see it through a blur of tears. hatred, and ugly words.

oh how it's changed." 

Proud! She said they made her proud. I have birthed 4 children in 4 years and I have yet to be proud of what I see in the mirror ... at least, what I see in the mirror today. 

And then:

"i'm a mama…
my body is so imperfect and soft and sexy in a different way. in a real way… in a way that my husband grabs me and wants me. in a powerful way that- i carried life, i gave birth, and i nourish this babe.  in a way that- i know i look more like you and less like airbrushed images. genuine and honest and imperfectly perfect."

I cried. 

Yep, tears baby. 

I know that my Creator sees me this way. 

I know that He designed my body to stretch and grow and expand as He gently knits a little human being, another new creation, in my womb. 

I know that in His eyes I am perfectly beautiful. Stunning even. 

So why, oh why, can I not see myself that way? 

Because Satan's remarks are louder than God's whispers?

Because our culture has turned the tables upside down and now worships the impeccable, toned, thin body? 

Because my insecurities are more pronounced to me than to anyone else? 

Oh Lord that I would cling to Your truths, not the enemy's lies. 

That I would see my body as You see it - a beautiful, fragrant offering to You and Your will. 

Oh that I would be able to have just a glimpse of myself through Your eyes. 

Ten on Tuesday

I don't know if I've ever actually done one of these ... five on Friday, ten on Tuesday, etc. Once I did do "not me" Monday. So, as I was having numerous emotions this afternoon and going through all the things in my head, I thought it be good to just blog it all and get the thoughts out this way. 

1. I've been fighting frustration all day today. Frustration related to my work as a photographer. I have a hard time fighting that frustration when I feel like I can't get what I see across to others. I just have to remember that while I want others to see what I see in my images, that's not always the case and art is usually subjective. 

2. I have been so off my routine for the last year. Yes, the last YEAR. And it drives me insane! But I suffer from life's chaos mixed with my own laziness and therefore, have not gotten back into a solid routine. 

3. I have not seen the scale move in almost 7 months. I have plateaued for a really, really, really long time and I don't know how to get out of it. At least, not right now when we can't afford the changes I want to make in our eating and I can't run to the gym whenever the heck I want to. 

When you've lost over 50 pounds TWICE in your life and maintained after losing it ... it's REALLY annoyingly frustrating to not be able to lose 25 pounds. It's also deeply disheartening and discouraging. 

4. Emma starts kindergarten in 7 months. Yep, 7 months. And it freaks me the heck out! 

5. I am deeply thankful for God's provision and His incredible timing. Just when I was doubting how we were going to make it until Mike got his first pay-check (because there's always that weird transition time), He pulled out all the stops and rocked my socks off! 

6. Wyatt has been sleeping laaaaaaate lately and I'm lovin' it! He has, in the past, been the one waking up and running around at 6:15 in the morning. Every.stinkin'.morning. 

Since we moved and settled in and separated him and George, it's been 8, 8:30, 8:45, and one day 9:35! 

And I mean, he's so stinkin' cute when he sleeps! :) 

7. I'm really thankful for the small group we joined this year. We've gotten to know some people that we "knew" before but didn't really know. And we've met some new people too that I'm excited to, hopefully, get to know even better! We weren't in a small group at church last year and I really missed it. 

8. Sometimes I cry about the babies I may not have. And that's not a "poor me" statement OR a slight against my husband! It's just this reality that will hit me at random moments that I can't really fight against. I trust God and I trust my man, so in the end, it's all good - but that doesn't always stop the tears! Lol. 

9. Shutter Island is a CRAZY movie. 

10. I am covered by grace and amazed by it. 

I am so flawed that Jesus had to die for me, yet SO valued by God that Jesus was glad to die for me. 

Random Ramblings on a Monotonous Monday

- Ever wonder about how interesting it is that while most men are chastised for cheating on their wives, seldom is the wife chastised for cheating on her husband, even though the percentages are pretty close?

It's still adultery no matter which spouse it is ... and God's grace covers both. 

- I believe in absolute truths and I believe in a righteous God. 

- I love, adore, cherish, relish, and delight in the snuggles I get from my babies. Especially this morning - Clara sat in my lap for a good twenty minutes and just snuggled me. It is rare that I have that many moments to stroke her cheek, play with her tiny ears, and pray over her every limb. 

- I fail every single day as a mom and it stinks. 

- I have a God that bridges the gap between my failings and His perfection and I will never fully understand the grace He gives. 

- Coffee is the only reason I open my eyes some days. 

- I find it very interesting that some people don't believe being "just a mother" is a worthy use of my life. Whose life will you ever shape more than your child's? 

Whose life do you have more impact over than your child's? 

I believe there are many other callings besides being a mother, but if you ARE a mother you are called to raise your children. 

What does it do for you to disparage motherhood?

- I love polka dots. 

Annnd a random image from our day last week (inspired by my good friend Jenna)

This is my life:

The Mounting Pile of Dishes in my Head

I feel like my brain is overwhelmed by thoughts. Thoughts, ideas, convictions, frustrations, prayers, lists, and on and on and on. They have become big piles of dishes in my head. My head is the kitchen and this kitchen is being overtaken by all sorts of piles of dishes.

Some of those piles are dirty. Some are clean. Some are dusty from lack of use. But there they sit, covering all the counters and slowly creeping their way onto every surface imaginable until it seems that there is no room to move or breathe. 

The dirty ones, well there's a few categories within "dirty" itself. 

There are the ones that were just used this morning and only have a few crumbs or a smudge of jelly. They just need a quick wash and they're set. These are the everyday thoughts, the ones that are always present, the ones that get used everyday. 

Did I put the wash in? Did I sweep today? Does Wy have socks on? Did I already change Clara? Etc, etc. 

There are the ones that have some remnant of food crusted on and need to be scrubbed a bit before they're clean. These are the ones that are fairly present as well but that the Lord needs to scrub just a bit every couple days. 

Have I thanked God today? Do I have joy? Am I disciplining consistently without anger? Have I exercised yet this week? Have I told my hunk how much I appreciate him?

Then there are the ones that are really caked with food. The ones that you have to let soak for a good while before even attempting to scrub them clean. 

These are the ones that the Lord really has to work out in me. The ones that need His hand because I can't get them clean on my own. 

These are usually convictions that I haven't ironed out yet - the heavy stuff. Or, more often, they are my struggles - my pride, my laziness, my selfishness. ::Gasp:: Yes, of course I struggle with selfishness. Every.single.day. 

There are clean dishes. 

They've been scrubbed by the Lord and I just need to put them in the cupboard. Filed away, into everyday life. 

And there are dusty dishes. Dishes that have been laid aside or forgotten about or that are only taken out for special occasions. 

The thoughts, ideas, convictions that I have and use but haven't been discussed or brought up for a while. They're there and I love them, I just don't use them every single day. They're special. 

I look at this "kitchen" and feel overwhelmed. Where do I start? How do I even begin to sort through all the dishes that are covering my counters? Can I sort through them all? Oh boy, oh boy. My head. I'm definitely going to need a cup of coffee. 

I guess the answer is: slowly. I can only wash one or two dishes at a time. Dry them and put them away. Then I can move on to a couple more. 

::Deep breath::

I can do this. With the Lord's help. It may take years and I may never be rid of the dishes. They may always linger on my counters, but I think that's how God wants it. He wants me to continue to grow. To wash, dry, and put away. And He wants me to allow Him to scrub the ones that need scrubbing. 

Guess I better start washing!

Random Rambling Thoughts

Random thoughts that I need to ponder more on or pray through over the coming days, weeks, and months:

- I do not necessarily have the time that it is going to take to develop my photography and my business the way that I want to. Having 4 children under the age of 4 is an all-consuming job. And I've realized that lately my mothering has taken a hit - not because of photogrpahy but because of life. Mothering is supposed to be my number one, top priority and if that comes in the way of my photography and moving things forward the way *I* want to, then so-be-it. That's how it SHOULD be. 

- On the same thought train - I need to work while I mother, not mother while I work. And yes, there is a HUGE difference - one that I have noticed has seeped into my daily life. I'm not ok with that and I need to nip it in the bud. 

- Also along that same thought train, I do not have the time I need to learn the new crafts that I so desire to learn like knitting and sewing. I can learn more about knitting but it's just going to be more slow-going than I hoped. For example - I had hoped to have 4 matching winter hats knit for my children two months ago ... and I haven't even started them! It's ok if I'm not a great knitter this year or even next - I just hope to be able to do it with my girls within the next few years. And the sewing ... who knows if we'll ever accomplish that.

- While it will always be my goal to honor the Lord and be a Proverbs 31 woman I need to be much more realistic with my goals, ambitions, and expectations! I am not going to be able to knit and sew (therefore clothing my family) or get my photography business up and running with huge success (taking a field and turning a profit) or live every day with a smile on my face (laughing at what's to come) in ONE day. It's going to take TIME. Much more time. And I need to be ok with that, because God is ok with that. 

- I spend far too much time on the computer and in front of the TV. Which affects my effectiveness in the above areas. I find myself sitting in front of the computer when room time/blanket time/table time roll around instead of accomplishing things I should be accomplishing - laundry, dishes, dinner prep, Bible time, character training, etc. While I have more recently tapped the internet for it's knowledge on cloth diapering, healthier eating, and delaying vaccinations, I have been known to spend more time surfing Etsy, ebay, and Facebook. The same is true for nap time. 

In fact, here I sit, typing this while I have 3 loads of laundry that need to be folded and put away and another load that needs to go into the wash and another into the dryer. My kitchen could stand to be picked up and wiped down and my house could use some organizing. Seriously! 

But, I praise God for my husband - who is helpful and doesn't care if all the dishes are done or dinner's on the table at precisely 6pm and I praise God that He knows me, my heart, and my intentions. He knows my struggles and better yet, He UNDERSTANDS my struggles! He can look at me in my hard moments when all I have to give Him is a 2x2 section of "clean" floor in my living room and rejoice that I'm striving to serve Him - and that makes it all worth it!