Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Mounting Pile of Dishes in my Head

I feel like my brain is overwhelmed by thoughts. Thoughts, ideas, convictions, frustrations, prayers, lists, and on and on and on. They have become big piles of dishes in my head. My head is the kitchen and this kitchen is being overtaken by all sorts of piles of dishes.

Some of those piles are dirty. Some are clean. Some are dusty from lack of use. But there they sit, covering all the counters and slowly creeping their way onto every surface imaginable until it seems that there is no room to move or breathe. 

The dirty ones, well there's a few categories within "dirty" itself. 
There are the ones that were just used this morning and only have a few crumbs or a smudge of jelly. They just need a quick wash and they're set. These are the everyday thoughts, the ones that are always present, the ones that get used everyday. 
Did I put the wash in? Did I sweep today? Does Wy have socks on? Did I already change Clara? Etc, etc. 

There are the ones that have some remnant of food crusted on and need to be scrubbed a bit before they're clean. These are the ones that are fairly present as well but that the Lord needs to scrub just a bit every couple days. 
Have I thanked God today? Do I have joy? Am I disciplining consistently without anger? Have I exercised yet this week? Have I told my hunk how much I appreciate him?

Then there are the ones that are really caked with food. The ones that you have to let soak for a good while before even attempting to scrub them clean. 
These are the ones that the Lord really has to work out in me. The ones that need His hand because I can't get them clean on my own. 
These are usually convictions that I haven't ironed out yet - the heavy stuff. Or, more often, they are my struggles - my pride, my laziness, my selfishness. ::Gasp:: Yes, of course I struggle with selfishness. 

There are clean dishes. 
They've been scrubbed by the Lord and I just need to put them in the cupboard. Filed away, into everyday life. 

And there are dusty dishes. Dishes that have been laid aside or forgotten about or that are only taken out for special occasions. 
The thoughts, ideas, convictions that I have and use but haven't been discussed or brought up for a while. They're there and I love them, I just don't use them every single day. They're special. 

I look at this "kitchen" and feel overwhelmed. Where do I start? How do I even begin to sort through all the dishes that are covering my counters? Can I sort through them all? Oh boy, oh boy. My head. I'm definitely going to need a cup of coffee. 
I guess the answer is: slowly. I can only wash one or two dishes at a time. Dry them and put them away. Then I can move on to a couple more. 

::Deep breath::
I can do this. With the Lord's help. It may take years and I may never be rid of the dishes. They may always linger on my counters, but I think that's how God wants it. He wants me to continue to grow. To wash, dry, and put away. And He wants me to allow Him to scrub the ones that need scrubbing. 

Guess I better start washing!


Sandra said...

Wow! This is how I feel nearly every day of the week! Couldn't have said it better myself :) one day at time.

Pam said...

Beautifully writen!

Pam said...

Beautifully writen!

Sara K. said...

I completely relate!! My brain constantly feels cluttered... which makes it hard sometimes even just to find the dishes that "just need a quick wash." And then when something disruptive occurs, it can feel like someone threw a frisbee into the kitchen and all the plates fell and scattered around the floor, perhaps some of them even broken.

Your conclusion is right on, though. Deep breath. I can do this. With the Lord's help. He is all-loving and merciful and mighty!